Monday June 16:
Received the following message:
Greetings to you and freedom loving penguins everywhere.
I have chosen join the United Federated Forces of the Penguinese Liberation Army and fight for my freedom and the freedom of all oppressed penguins. I have been given the name Eduardo. It is in the spirit of Eduardo that I say, 'Liberdad o Muerte, Venceremos.'
As for being brainwashed, the idea is ridiculous to the point of being beyond belief. I am a soldier in the Penguins' Army.
Death to the fascist sea lion that preys upon the life of the penguin!
(With attached logo of the PLA. If you’re unfamiliar with the cultural reference, google Patty Hearst and the
Also received an e-card saying:
Card message: Haven’t heard back so I assume you’re busy, flaky, or dead.
Inside message:
Don't you care about what happens to your so-called beloved penguin? I would have thought you would have responded by now.
Joining the United Federated Forces of the Penguinese Liberation Army and changing his name to Eduardo is an obvious cry for help.
One, apparently, you are loathe to answer - along with any other communique from me.
I find your lack of concern disturbing.
Perhaps it is time to take this to the next level....
(View card: http://www.someecards.com/viewcard/a04892689ff3301e98cf6aa20b7668cf
- not sure how long the link will be active, but it’s quite entertaining. That e-card site is hilarious, btw; check it out at: www.someecards.com)
And they sent me the following text from a newspaper article:
A penguin has been treated for depression after several days out in town - which included a stint in jail - proved too eventful.
The penguin was found wandering dazed and confused near a McDonald's restaurant, officials said on Monday. It was wearing a United Federated Forces of the Penguinese Liberation Army t-shirt and with a "Hello, my name is Eduardo" sticker attached.
After being alerted by a local resident walking his dog, police picked up the animal and kept it in a cell overnight.
The penguin was given a box and a bowl of water in the cell.
Later it was seen by a vet and admitted to an animal clinic, where it was evaluated by an animal psychologist.
Dr. Judith Nuthouse, renowned animal psychic and grower of championship cucumbers, said the penguin was extremely distressed after its big adventure and the accompanying media attention.
"Stress alone can make them very ill and kill them. They are not geared up for this and get very depressed," she said.
"I worry about its background. Who knows what kind of horrible home environment this penguin was in to make him leave its habitat. Running away is an obvious cry for help.
"He's clearly depressed. Penguins are not bipolar. Hopefully Eduardo, if that is its real name, will take a turn for the better after a few doses of Prozac and some therapy," she said.
It is unclear if the penguin is actually a member of the United Federated Forces of the Penguinese Liberation Army, which has claimed responsibility for several area fishmonger and pet store robberies.
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