Friday, June 27, 2008

Additional hilarity

In case people have not read the comments on these posts, I have to copy the text of one particularly funny comment here. It's in the form of a Nigerian email scam letter, and made me laugh:

Dear sir,

In search of a competent person who would handle issues with utmost good faith and matured confidentiality, i decided to enlist into your service

My name is Johnny Banana son of former Zimbabwean President, Reverend Canaan Sodindo Banana who died on Monday 10th november 2003.My late father was president of Zimbabwe from 1980 -1987.He was succeeded by the then prime minister Robert Mugabe who because of political motives supported my late father former aides and accused him of sexual harassment with same sex (homosexuality) which carries a ten years sentence in Zimbabwe.

Oh how I remember Dad calling me in from playing--"Eduardo, Eduardo," he would call, before straightening my beret. Oh, and I remember things before then too, hazily: a very cold, icy place; dancing late into the night; the forced marches; little pills (oh my beautiful dolls) and a big bridge…and another name too, I seem to recall. Gary? Gray?.....too..hard..to...remember...........

After an eleven days trial we fled to Botswana after receiving information that Robert Mugabe and his cohorts are after our lives and properties thinking my father was supporting the opposition party and trafficking in frozen fish. My father's account in Germany, Luxemburg, Switzerland was frozen by Government of my country. It is only in this fund that my father deposited with this security company declared as personal values and fish that we depend on as our future survival

To summarise this story, my late father decided to deposit the sum of $17,200,000USD (seventeen million two hundred thousand united states dollars) and assorted fish with a private security firm in Europe with my name as the beneficiary.

Since my father is dead now, I consider it worthwhile to look for a partner who will assist us in securing the release of this deposit. For this transaction we will give out 16% for the assistance, 50% share for possible help on investing in any reliable venture, 2% to buy personal properties like a house and cars etc when we relocate to your country, and fish as desired.

If you would want to proceed under these terms, please reply for detailed information.

If you do not accept my offer, please in good fate treat with utmost confidentiality.

A quick reply with your name, telephone and fax numbers for more confidential communication will be highly appreciated.

Regards ,
Johnny Banana.

June 19, 2008 10:41 AM


I posted a reply comment:

Aha! I am intrigued by your offer. That certainly is a large amount of money. And fish.

You wouldn't happen to know a little penguin from America named Graham, would you? Is that maybe the name you were thinking of?

I cannot send you my fax and phone numbers right now, because they have been shut down for non-payment. I am in the hospital with acute phlegmitis, awaiting a phlegm transplant. Because of this expense and the cost of the recent funeral of my father's brother's great uncle's chihuahua, I have lost much money and cannot afford a phone or smoked herring.

So, you see, I could definitely use the money you are willing to share with me in utmost good faith and matured confidentiality. Before we can complete any transactions I will need to get my phone turned back on.

Please send a check made out to CASH for $500 to the Eskind Library in Nashville and I will contact you once I use these funds to get my phone turned on again.

~Kitten

June 20, 2008 8:15 AM


You will notice that in my reply, I asked the scammer to send ME money. This is reminiscent of the pastime known as "scam-baiting." This is a new "cyber-sport" wherein recipients of emails that are clearly scam attempts actually reply to the scammers; they engage them with their own fake (and often hilarious) stories and get the scammers to send money to their intended victims. If you have never read about scam-baiting, check it out here: 419Eater Scam-Baiting Site

For a sample scam-baiting venture, read this series of letters between a scammer and his intended victim: "Book Worm Scam"

One favorite trick is getting the scammer to take a photo of him/herself holding a sign with a "password" in order to prove they are who they say they are in the email. The scam-baiters then post those photos in the Trophy Room.

Scam-baiting is not something to engage in lightly, as scammers are not nice people and don't appreciate having their time and money wasted. However, the people who are savvy enough to get away with it bring joy and entertainment to the world!

No comments: